Quiet Suffering
By: Shelby Counts
Don’t say a word.
Don’t even think.
___
Silence.
___
Started out as innocent curiosity,
Turned to vile habit,
But I still believe I’m fine,
Tell myself I have to be.
___
Living day-to-day from shattered remains,
Broken family, broken thoughts, broken reality,
Really it’s nothing special, nothing elaborate.
Pain is pain, but I still want to believe I’m fine,
Because I can’t face the reality of what’s wrong with me.
___
Bleed,
Breathe,
Die,
___
That’s all that’s on my mind.
Because I’m a walking tragedy,
Because nothing’s going right and I feel like I should be wrapped in straight jacket,
And I know that I’m not fine,
But the addiction makes me feel so bitterly free.
___
I have to take it,
So I won’t live so unhappily,
But it’s all a racket,
Because I’m trapped in the habit, nowhere near fine,
And that’s not something I ever wanted to be.
___
But don’t speak a word,
Because I don’t want to remember.
___
Pill after pill,
How many did I take?
It doesn’t even matter.
Creative Writing II/Creative Writing II Honors 
The ending was perfect. The last stanza was just the perfect ending to your poem. You have a way of writing , atleast in this story, that made the reader stand up on there toes. Your poem got more and more intense as you read it, till the ending where your left with this exhale of tension. It was a little slow at the very beginning though and It was weird that she knew so much about her self. Like she knew she was pretending and its okay if she did but I think it’d be more realistic if she knew on a subconscious level, oppose to openly admitting it the ways she does, but its just my opinion I could be wrong.
I really liked the poem but one line was a little weird and long. “Because nothing’s going right and I feel like I should be wrapped in straight jacket,” maybe change that line.
I don’t really have a problem with that line and with the natural pause that is in it I don’t feel that the length really causes any disruption to the flow. I could add an ‘a’ after in (which was previously suggested) I just didn’t feel that, that was right. But thank you for your feedback. 🙂
SHELBY! SHELBY! LOOK HOW WEIRD THIS SMILEY FACE LOOKS! 😛 WordPress is weird.
😀
I really like the use of a question near the end. It helped to highlight how lost in pain and sorrow your speaker is.
I also thought that it really brought the poem to a close and reflected the speaker.
I love the battle the speaker is having with herself throughout the whole poem and how at the end she just gives in. This is a wonderful poem and your theme really shows the whole time. Great job!
Thank you, I’m glad that it came across so well.
this is a great poem! i see the depression, and the loss of faith in anything jumping from the screen. saying it dos’nt matter at the end just adds to the overall impact. keep up the good work.
Thank you. I feel that through the whole things she’s going through a fit of denial and at the end even though she knows its not making things any better she just submits to it and gave up.
I really like how you took a different turn on this. It’s not what i was expecting. I like though. It’s wonderfully written. The faith of the pill being there to provide what the speaker needed. Well done.
Thank you! I like things that are on the unexpected side so i’m glad it had that kind of effect.
This is very well written! You really captured how sad the speaker is even though she doesn’t want to believe it. My favorite lines are: “Pain is pain, but I still want to believe I’m fine, Because I can’t face the reality of what’s wrong with me.” They help support your theme. Good job 🙂
Thank you! I feel like she’s in a rough denial. And that’s one of my favorite lines too.
I wanted to take a more abstract form with this poem and I’m not sure I really achieved that.
Theme:Faith in the addiction to numb/forget the pain and sorrow that this person feels.