Certain to Suceed

This year has been long.
It has also been hard.
Problems.
Conflicts,
With solutions out of grasp.
One could wonder how I have made it this far.

They might guess that it was determination;
That I kept trying my best and did not worry about the problems.
Or maybe it was hope;
That I believed that tomorrow would simply be a better day.
What they do not know is that it was none of these things.

I did not wait for problems to go away,
Nor did I hide from them.
All the problems, I would not let them just pass by.
I held myself accountable and took action when they approached.
I knew that I could solve them,
And was certain of my success.

I did not simply believe in myself.
I knew that I could do it.
Problems.
Conflicts,
With solutions out of grasp.
I was able to get through them all because,
I was certain that I could succeed.

Who Plays for Them?

*** This story is a tribute to those who have suffered rape and sexual assault. Every 2 minutes there is a new victim of sexual abuse.  Those of us who have been through this horrible situation know that though we may be through the event, the effects still remain. Until we take a stand this horrible act will remain with us.***

Carol stared numbly at the tiny plastic test in her hands. Two lines. Two pink lines. Two stupid pink lines. As the realization sunk in, she leaned her weary head back on the cool cinder block walls. Those two pink lines had just sentenced her to her bitter fate. Looking around she took in the scene. Gritty tile floors, plastic black doors hiding her from the harsh reality.

“Carol? Carol are you in here?” she heard her friend call out, breaking the quiet sanctuary of the bathroom. She turned towards the wall praying for her friend to go away. “Carol… what are you doing in there? Hey, are you alright?” Her friend Julia whispered leaning next to the open space under the stall door.

“Go away, Julia.” Carol moaned rocking back and forth. Julia’s eyes landed on the test she had clutched in her fist. The 18 year old shook and trembled.

“What’s that Carol?” she asked staring at the test. Carol stared at her side-ways her gray-blue eyes scorning Julia. Whimpering she hugged her legs to her chest.

“Just go away Julia.” she whispered through a veil of tears. Julia slipped under the stall door.

“Come on, Carol… we’re best friends… you can trust me…” she whispered softly as she wrapped her arms around her friends shaking body. She was taken aback as her friend stiffened at her touch.

“Don’t touch me…” she fairly growled from inside her fortress of arms and legs. Julia released her friend and stared at her with a worried expression on her pretty face.

“Carol, please… don’t shut me out, whatever it is… I’m here for you.” Carol looked up at her friend, and as her shoulders slumped she began to cry into her hands once again.

“I-I am pregnant” she whispered as the tears fell in plenty. Julia had a look of shock painted on her face.

“Oh, Carol…” Julia moaned. “Was it Todd… Carol?” Carol looked at her friend and began to cry again.

“No.” the simple word thudded out. Julia stared in shock at the hard glaze turning over her best friends face.

“Carol… who was it.” she whispered staring down at the ground. The name that she heard sent her into a downward spiral of hate.

“Phillip.” Carol’s countenance crumbled as she said this name.

“Your step-dad.” Julia mumbled. Carol balled up in the corner.

“He said it was time… now I was a woman… I was asking for it… ” it was the last line that made Julia shudder. “He said I’d like it.”

---

Carol sat huddled in the corner shaking. Numbly she looked up at her attacker as he backed out of the room holding a finger to his mouth. As the door shut noiselessly she let the tears fall where they may. She managed to crawl to the shower and climb in as she let the water run over her body. Picking up a bar of soap she began to try to scour the grimy feeling of dirtiness that crawled over her skin. All the while she did this she couldn’t forget those hands that had probed her and those words.

“Your gonna like it.” she shuddered and cried as she scoured away the top layer of skin, blood began to ooze out slowly down the drain. Falling back Carol fell into despondence.

“Your gonna like it.”

---

“Carol! For goodness sakes, stop!” Julia pulled Carol out of her trance. Looking down Carol saw blood on her hands, and the water ran in the sink. Falling back, she cried and held her body. “Carol, you’ve got to tell your mom… you’ve got to tell someone.” Carol shook her head profusely and backed into the corner farther.

“No, and you’ve got to promise not to tell anyone. I can’t tell anyone about this… it’s too shameful.” she whimpered in disgust.

“Carol, you didn’t do anything wrong… it was him that did the wrong.” Julia said with fire in her eyes. Carol hung her head, and rubbed her arms as she shivered.

“I feel so… dirty… how can I ever trust again… Julia, how can I….” she cried into her hands, as her golden hair fell in waves covering her face. Julia reached for her friends hands.

“Oh, Carol…” she whispered as she clung to her shaking friend.

---

Who plays for the ones who carry scars

Who plays for the ones who have lost their way

Who plays for the ones who are left in shards

Who plays for the ones who’ve had to pay

Broken,

Beaten,

Misused,

Abused,

Verbal,

Physical,

Wrong

 It doesn’t matter if the abuse was words or more than that. Either way it hurts, and the fear and guilt last for a long time. I hope you enjoyed this short story.

The Victorious Loser

There are many things in one’s life to fear.

When competing against others, one specifically is clear.

That is the fear of losing,

of not being good enough.

To fall down in front of others,

its consequences are tough.

 

The people who once cheered for you refuse to mourn,

they instead scream at you with mockery and scorn.

They wonder why you cannot be better,

and had to be this conflict’s loser.

 

There is one thing that these people do not understand,

and that is in losing there is something grand.

Even if you do not receive victory’s accolades,

you still gain something that the winner can never claim.

 

With defeat, you attain the ability to advance,

Learning from your mistakes and gaining new skill.

You can remove your weaknesses that had caused you to fail,

And bring forth new battles with a fighting chance.

To “Them”

Society holds too many expectations,

How am I supposed to dream big,

With all of these limitations?

 

I do what I’m supposed to,

Sit, learn, and listen.

Yet what will I accomplish,

By quietly paying attention?

 

 

What happens if I don’t succeed?

What if I don’t go to college?

Who will I be?

 Just another somebody, nobody needs.

 

The grades pile up,

The stress rises high.

How can I do this,

With time flying by?

 

“Mom, what if I don’t make it?”
“Dad, will you still care?”
Please don’t give up on me.
“It’s ok Honey, your brother’s still there.”

 

Time may be a demon,

Even so; it is not a real threat,

The ones I’m afraid of,

I also call “Parents.”

 

“You’re not rising up to your full potential.”

You’re not good enough.
“Darling, you know we love you,”

You’re just a screw up.